“I longed to be like other girls” Reflecting on Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story by A. Revathi

Imagine having to fight all your life to own your identity, only for society to seclude and label you as “polluted” and “crazy.” Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story is an insightful read into the life of a Hijra and the everyday struggles they face. The story of a cisgender male named Doraiswamy transitioning into Revathi and owning her identity is not just a tale of courage and resilience but also an eye-opener to the adversities faced by the transgender community across India.

Revathi is a writer, actor, and activist who works with Sangama, a human rights organization for sexual minorities. She advocates for individuals oppressed due to their sexual preference. The author of Unarvum, Urumamum, her autobiography The Truth About Me is the first of its kind in English from a member of the Hijra community.

To be born and labeled one way, and to fight all your life to regain your true identity, is a battle of resilience—not just against society and loved ones but also against oneself.

Growing up, Revathi felt different. Named Doraiswamy, she explains her childhood, where she enjoyed the company of girls and eagerly jumped at opportunities to dress as a woman. However, to everyone else, it was just a phase she would outgrow with age. Being bullied and called “Number 9” and “Female things” were traumatic experiences Revathi recounts in her autobiography. Her narrative vividly captures the emotions and struggles she had to overcome to identify herself.

She writes, “I experienced a growing sense of irrepressible femaleness, which haunted me day in and day out. A woman trapped in a man’s body was how I thought of myself. But how could that be? Would the world accept me thus?”

Whenever life gave her the opportunity to dress as a girl during festivals, she was stunned by the praise she received, with people admiring her “female aura.” This gave her the confidence she didn't know she needed. However, as she changed back into Doraiswamy’s clothes, she felt as though she was in disguise, leaving her true self behind.

Revathi’s struggle to leave home, roam around cities to find her community in Delhi, be tortured and beaten at home and in social settings, find her guru, and endure painful medical procedures is deeply moving. She faced many hardships before finally owning her name.

“Why can’t you be like other men? Why can’t you be normal?” was a constant echo of social isolation and hate.

Her struggles didn’t stop after she physically changed into a woman; the social stigma followed, making her life miserable. Her life became an incredible series of dangerous physical and emotional journeys to become a woman and to find love.

Revathi also elaborates on the sexual exploitation and harassment that the community faces while struggling to make ends meet. The transgender community is socially secluded from employment opportunities, and sex work often becomes their last resort. The choice between life and dignity is a harmful situation to be in, and exploitation in this sector makes life even more unbearable.

“I was a thing to be looked at and laughed at, an oddity, a comic figure,” Revathi writes.

She also narrates a horrifying incident where she was beaten up and tortured by police officers and then forced to remain silent about it. This is a cruel example of hatred in action.

Transgender people have been violently secluded and treated with disrespect in many communities. Through this work, Revathi calls out the issues that widely affect the community, urging citizens to understand and let people live.

Revathi also explores a confusing space in the book where there is no acceptance without education or employment. But when one chooses sex work, they are met with nothing but shame. Leaving sex work for activism barely provides enough money, and leaving her livelihood also meant abandoning her community. Being isolated from her transgender community made it harder to find support.

She writes in despair: “The whole world looks askance at me. It holds me wrong for having turned into a woman after being born a man. God has given me these feelings, and I have to live in a world that doesn’t respect my feelings. The world considers it wrong for me to beg, wrong for me to want to get married… It is not as if I’ve killed or cheated or committed theft.”

The world demands too much from them. It feels like they are presented with a tough choice: to survive by hiding behind a fake identity or live a life of hell for choosing dignity. Both paths are bitter, but the latter, liberating.

Thus, The Truth About Me: A Hijra Life Story is not just a personal account but also a critical commentary on the struggles of the transgender community in India. It highlights the intricate relationship between gender, identity, and societal acceptance, making it a significant contribution to the discourse on gender studies, human rights, and social justice. By providing a raw and honest narrative, Revathi’s autobiography enriches the understanding of the challenges faced by transgender individuals and underscores the importance of dignity, respect, and equality.